Reminiscing

on a day long ago when my buddy Alan liked food. He drank his bottle. He explored new and different tastes and textures and enjoyed the experience.

That image just looks nothing like today. Terror strikes when he sees a bottle or sippy cup get too close. He'll tolerate a few bites of food but anything with an unusual texture and he'll gag it up.

At this point I'm so beyond frustrated. I try all the suggestions and get nowhere.

And I'm so sick of the advice referencing terms that have no relevance on our life, like "dinner time" or "bath time."

It looks like we'll probably go through with getting a g-tube in sometime soon. And we'll be seeing the Eating Disorder clinic at our Children's hospital. That's where I'm putting all my hope at the moment because I don't know what else to do. I think at this point its clearly a behavioral/ emotional issue that we probably continue to contribute too. All the trauma he's experienced probably doesn't help either - poor kid.

He's being tough. He's making progress growing and developing - getting stronger, learning play and do some things on his own. It just feels so agonizingly slow.

Here's my cutie today: I'm so proud of him - I just feel so bad that he has to work so hard to have a normal life