Well for one thing, my darling little Alan here is not stuck in his "throwing" stage of development. He does not throw every object he can get his hands on. If that were the case, casualties would include his favorite binky, toys, cell phones, remotes, etc that go flying across the room. He does not figure out how to throw items that should be much too big for him. He did not the other day pick up the big metal clamp (that hooks his feed pump to an IV pole) that we never use and instead let him use as a toy to shake and chew, and fling it over his shoulder. We would never leave a non-child approved item on the floor.
Alan has not completely resisted encouragement to crawl, instead opting to do the side scoot. This method of transit would require more of said flinging behavior (that he does not do) because every time he'd see an object of any shape or size in the way, he'd have to fling it out of his way.
I did not learn at an enlightening doctor appointment for myself the other day that my years of sinus and ear infection suffering might be caused by my excessive nose blowing. The doc could not tell simply by viewing my right ear (which was not yet infected from my latest cold but pulling inward) that I'm guilty of blowing my nose frequently and as hard as I possibly can. I learned that my "method" is not the best and can make things worse.
I do not sometimes miss important phone calls or voicemails because I'm trying to avoid talking to the collection agent for a particular health care provider who's bugging me about a bill I've already paid. I'm too assertive and proactive for that.
I did not go through my pictures and realize that I've been a big time slacker on getting any cute (preferably smiling) Alan shots lately. Dad did get this cute one the other day. (And by that I mean he really did. Not another Not)
We do not risk disturbing his peaceful sleep by turning all the lights on to get a good sleeping picture of asleep Alan.
I did not secretly really like getting Mother's Day flowers:
even though I claim not to like flowers and include them in my rant about how gift customs (including wrapping paper, greeting cards, and well.. cut flowers) are expensive social constructs that waste resources. Because I'm not one who always needs something to rant about and can't just go with the flow.
I did not try really hard to get more flower photos, first by posing them with Alan, who wanted nothing to do with them and was batting and kicking the flowers away when I tried to make him hold the boquet.
then by fixing them up in a vase (and by vase I mean Ball jars that we use as makeshift drinking glasses) and putting them on the table (which I made clutter free just for the occasion) next to a swivel photo frame. First with the picture of Alan and I. Then the picture with Rob and I. Then I realized that a picture next to flowers is a little creepy and reminded me of a funeral so I just scrapped the whole thing.
And, ughh.. I'm not a total failure at HTML with this post not at all the way I wanted it to be laid out.
I conclude, off to do far more meaningful and productive things with my time. (yes, that was another Not joke)